Haunted Past, Terrifying Present, Uncertain Future
by BrightSide of Nowhere
Summary: Maybe everything happens for a reason. Maybe the reason that everything isn’t the way it was supposed to be is because we had it all wrong. Or did we? B/D B/C S/D L/R AU Future Fic
1. The Bus Ride Into Hell

**Story**: Haunted Past, Terrifying Present, Uncertain Future

**Summary**: Maybe everything happens for a reason. Maybe the reason that everything isn't the way it was supposed to be is because we had it all wrong. Or did we? Can old feelings stayed buried when we all must face our own demons while burying one of our own? Will everything change, or are some things just meant to be?

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing GG related.

**Chapter One- The Bus Ride Into Hell**

"Maybe you haven't heard yet," she said into the phone, "but I'm heading back to New York, on a bus, with a Humphrey." Her red lips said the words in the same snobbish and seemingly harmless voice she had mastered when she first learned to speak. Even though social class was far from important to her, even though the thought of sitting next to Humphrey didn't completely repulse her, and even though she was rather enjoying the bus ride; Blair kept up the act. A faint sound of someone talking on the other line could be heard and then Blair huffed. "No mother, I won't be staying long. This isn't a vacation or even a pleasant visit. Someone is dead." She let the words out before she even thought about it. Until this bus ride, until they had reached New York City limits, she hadn't really let it sink in that he was dead. "Mother, we can talk when I return home. Until then, I have to go." She closed the phone before allowing her mother any more chances to tell Blair how highly inappropriate it was that she was arriving, late, and with him. 'Him' was sitting across from her, staring out the window and trying to pretend he wasn't just hanging on every word that left her cherry red mouth. "You can talk now," she said.

"Will your mother even allow me to stay with you?" The vulnerability in his voice had returned, just as easily as her haughty attitude and snobbish airs had.

"We are staying at the Palace," she said.

He turned his head and raised his eyebrows as he looked at her. Something had changed since the last time he had glanced at her, right before the phone call. She was sitting a little straighter, her legs were crossed at the ankle, her hands sat still in her lap, and her eyes were cold. She had returned to the little socialite he had met so long ago. "A Bass hotel, is that wise?"

Inside she wondered if he was squirming under the pressure of it all. It wasn't like he was new to the game. He had done this once before. It was everything they had been hiding in the five years they had been away. It was their past coming back to them. "Jealous?"

"Not at chance," he said. He took her hands in his and looked into her eyes. "Frightened," he admitted.

She nodded, but her mask never faltered. She was an actress, and now she was in character until it was all over. Until the curtain fell. "They'll both be there," she whispered.

Both. Two people and they were scarier than anything they had ever faced. "We can make it," he said. And even to him it sounded unsure and frail.

She sighed and leaned back against the seat. "It's going to be a story even Gossip Girl will spring alive for."

"Dan Humphrey and Blair Waldorf… married." He said out loud. And then the bus came to its final stop.

_**Gossip Girl here, and yes it is the real me. Only a story like this could make me come back to informing the masses about our Upper East Siders. News on the street is the visitation and funeral is tomorrow. How has our favorite players been? And who is it exactly being buried under the earth. I'll have the full scoop soon. Its five years since graduation my dears, what has been happening while I was away?  
You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl.**_


	2. The Living Make Me Crazy

**Chapter Two- The Living Make Me Crazy**

The two barely had time to check in and get ready before the knock on the door signaled Blair's mother was there. Motioning for Dan to sit on the couch and keep quiet, Blair opened the door. In a flurry of silk and Chanel perfume, Eleanor Waldorf entered the room. "Blair, really? Could you have done anything else to embarrass me?"

Aside from her mother, no one else knew of their marriage. Even Dan's own family was left out of the loop, due to his father's marriage to Lily. And her mother hated it. Blair had managed to stay away for long enough, but only something like this could make her face her mother's wrath. "Hello to you too Mother. Are you going to speak to my husband?"

Eleanor turned to see Dan sitting on the couch, facing the ever quarreling mother and daughter. "Oh yes, hello there Daniel. Have I thanked you recently for ruining my daughter's life?"

"Enough," Blair said. Her mother turned to her and a look of shock came over her face. "I've had enough," she said. "You have had two years to deal with this marriage. We are about to make it known to the whole Upper East Side, including two people we tried very hard to keep it from. So, I don't need to deal with all the issues you have with our marriage. You can bitch and scream all you want Mother, but at the end of the day, your opinion does not count."

"No," her mother said softly. She moved towards Blair and leaned down, whispering in her ear. "But his will; and he has asked about you for three days." And with a triumphant smile, Eleanor Waldorf was gone as quickly as she came.

Dan had left his place on the couch and was now standing across the room. "Can you do this?"

She turned and he saw it. The look of fire she got in her eyes when there was something she needed to accomplish. "Let's go."

_Xoxo_

Her heels clicked on the floors as she walked with her arm hooked in his. This was the moment, the time when the whole world would know what she had done. The door was there, and the sign announced the solemn occasion they were there for. She let the hotel staff open the door, and they walked in. Heads turned, jaws dropped, and people went dead quiet. It seemed like hours before Jenny Humphrey walked up to her brother. "Dan, what's going on here?"

It wasn't Jenny who noticed. It wasn't Rufus, or Lily, or Eric. It was Chuck Bass, who was leaning against the wall in the room, that noticed. To the whole room he announced, "Isn't it obvious Little J? If the body langue isn't enough, the diamond ring and matching bands on their left ring fingers should give it away."

It was Serena who dropped her drink. It was Rufus that turned red. Eleanor hid in a corner. But it was Lily who spoke. "Well Blair and Dan, congratulations. I do wish this news didn't have to come at such a solemn occasion." It was Upper East Side code for 'how dare you walk in here, in the middle of a visitation, with news that would shock the whole room'. Lily did conniving bitch better than most people gave her credit for.

It wasn't Blair, Dan, Chuck, Serena, or any other Humphrey that broke the little reunion short. It was Ann. "Blair dear, I am so glad you are here. I know how hard this must be."

Until that moment, Blair hadn't even thought about facing this. "It hasn't really seemed real yet."

And then, true to his bitch side, Chuck said it all. "Of course not Blair. While you and Humphrey ignored the rest of the world, Nate got sick. And he died."

The room spun. She suddenly felt hot. And then there was nothing there. Dan's arms held the dead weight of Blair Waldorf, who had finally realized her first love and childhood friend had died. And she hadn't even been there.

_**Well, well, you have been busy while I was away. It seems that we are burying Nate. We all knew he was sick, but wasn't he getting better. And even more shocking is who Blair Waldorf showed up with. Dan Humphrey and wedding rings to match. What has B done? And who else is curious to find out what S and C think of Lonely Boy and B's news. It seems even his own family didn't know. What did they expect, no one would care? Tisk Tisk little lovers, didn't anyone ever tell you? You can leave the Upper East Side, but it never leaves you.  
You know you love me. XOXO Gossip Girl.**_


	3. Questions You Didn't Want to Ask

A/N: I would like to mention that I am a Chair shipper, and this story will most likely end up in that general direction. The only reason it isn't classified under those two characters is because the whole story will not be about them. In the flashback, in Blair's letter, the 'quote' is from 'Legends of the fall'.

**Chapter Three- Questions You Didn't Want to Ask**

_Flashback_

Blair sat at the desk of her new dorm room, the silence surrounding her. In her hand, a single piece of paper. She brought it up to eye level and reread the words she had written.

Dear Chuck,  
of all the things I've ever done, letting you go was the hardest. It pains me to think that everything we had and everything we were is now a faded memory. It hurts me even worse to know that I never heard those three words from you, and I have now come to believe that you may have never been able to say them. I now know, you never felt them, at least for me. I've never been one to dwell on things in the past and I hope that when we eventually cross paths in the future, you understand that there are no more hard feelings for you. Charles, 'I have nowhere to send this letter and no reason to believe you wish to receive it. I write it only for myself. And so I will hide it away along with all the things left unsaid and undone between us'.  
Blair

It was more than a letter. It was her ending. She needed him to be behind her, locked away in some box and left there. If she looked at Chuck as the person; the walking and living thing that could instantly come back into her life and heart, she'd never be able to move on. If she could allow him to be this letter; a piece of paper she could lock away, then he could never hurt her again.

_End Flashback_

Blair's eyes opened slowly and adjusted to the light in her room. She scanned the room and her eyes settled on Chuck, his head in his hands, and slumped over in a chair. For a brief moment, she entertained the thought that he was worried about her well being. Quickly, she shoved the thought back into her own little mental box of things she kept from thinking about. "Chuck," she managed to say.

He looked up and for a brief second, she saw the relief in his eyes. He was worried about her. "Blair," he whispered.

The air was thick between them, of all the things that needed explaining. She could practically see his mind whirling with what to ask her about first. "What are you doing in here?"

"Your husband is being accosted by his family. It didn't sit well with the Humphrey clan that he married without letting them know." He raised an eyebrow at her and leaned back in the seat. "I thought I'd be more interested in the answers I got in here."

Blair sighed and sat up slowly. "I don't have to explain anything to you Bass. Get out."

He laughed, "Oh no Blair, I think you do. I think you have a lot of explaining to do."

She sighed and stood up out of bed. He watched her like a hawk and she knew that he was expecting her to spill her guts. He didn't know her at all anymore. "You aren't in any position in my life to make demands from me Bass. Now, I'm going to join my husband. He shouldn't have to explain all this alone." She reached the door before he grabbed her arm and turned her around. "Bass…"

"You will explain," he said in a low, almost terrifying voice. "Start," he pulled her over and sat her in the chair he had just left, "with Jack."

Her eyes got big and she looked anywhere but at him. In all these years, she had forgotten her biggest betrayal of all. "What do you want to hear Chuck? That I slept with Jack, you should know that by now."

"I want to know why," he said quickly. He leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms. He seemed so casual, but inside she knew he was fuming.

"When Jack showed up, I asked him to find you. He was content with letting you kill yourself with drugs and whores, and why not when he had everything to gain. But I asked him to find you and bring you back. And Jack's price was steep." She said it all without looking at him, because even Blair didn't have the courage.

Chuck stared down at the brunette girl and debated forgetting all about everything else she had to explain and pulling her to him. "You slept with Jack so he'd find me?"

"I had to," she said quickly and pulled her eyes up to his. "You were dying out there, somewhere you were all alone with nothing but drugs, alcohol, and whores to keep you company. You needed to be back where people cared for you, you needed to be back with…"

"You," he finished for her. She could only nod in response and suddenly Chuck felt like an ass. It was shortly after Blair left for Yale that Chuck got the letter from his uncle. In it was everything from the weeks leading up to Jack finding him, including the revelation that Blair had slept with him. Jack had painted the picture in quite a different way, and Chuck had been so angry. "I am sorry to mention it," he finally said.

"No," she said in response, "you needed to know that I wasn't the whore I'm sure Jack painted me to be. You needed to know what your uncle asked for in return for bringing you back." She didn't add that he needed to know what she had sacrificed for him. It went without saying.

"Why Humphrey and when?" He tried to make his voice calm, but even to him it sounded angry.

Blair sighed. "No, if you want to play this game of questions, you will have to answer too Bass. What happened to Nate?"

Chuck could have sworn his jaw hit the floor. He didn't expect her to ask that, he didn't expect to have to answer. "Well…"

_Flashback_

Chuck and Nate were sitting in his room, watching the doctor pack his things up. The monitors were beeping as a signal that, even though he was still alive, Nate's fate was no longer in his own hands. The doctor nodded to the two men and left quietly. "You really did pay top dollar for me to be here," Nate said in a quiet voice. All of the boyish charm that he had was faded and in its place was his sickness's hard presence. "Thank you," he said to Chuck.

Chuck only nodded in response, his eyes fixed on the monitor that followed Nate's heartbeat. Even to him, he couldn't understand why she wasn't here. "I'm sorry she didn't come," he said.

Nate turned to look out the window of the penthouse apartment Chuck had settled him into. "It isn't your fault she isn't here," he said quietly. "She might come if she knew, but damn it, I don't want her to know. And I'm kind of glad she isn't here, I don't want her to see me like this."

"If you would ask Serena…"

"No," Nate said firmly. "The reason she isn't here is not because of you Chuck, and even if it is, I don't hold you responsible for it. You've told her I wished to see her. She sent her answer. Nothing can be changed now." Nate turned to face the dark haired man he had been friend with since childhood. "I always thought you would die first," he said with a hint of laughter in his voice.

Chuck smiled, but it was a weak smile, of a man seeing his friend give up. "If she had come, would you be fighting harder?"

N ate shook his head. "I am not giving up because she isn't here. I learned long ago that she loved you more. I accepted that. The truth is Chuck, I'm tired. I am tired of fighting a war against something that can't be changed. One day Chuck, you'll get tired of fighting against fate, against you and Blair." Nate reached out and took Chuck's hand. "I'll miss you," he said softly.

Chuck cried then, the first time he had cried since his father died. "I'll miss you too Nate." And before his eyes, Nate Archibald took his last breath.

_End Flashback_

Tears were streaming down her face when he finished telling her. "I didn't know," she said softly. "I never even knew he had gotten sick."

"I wanted to scream at you, tell you that while you were stuck in your own little world, Nate was dying. But he didn't want you to know how bad it was, he didn't want to force you home when you didn't want to be there. Even in the end, Nate was thinking more about others than himself." Chuck turned away from her and looked out the window. "Why did you marry Humphrey Blair?"

Blair watched him with curious eyes. It seemed that he was willing himself not to look at her, and she wondered if she would see disgust in his eyes. After all, Nate had wanted to see her and she said no. "Dan and I started being friends almost immediately when we started Yale. Something about him made me think of all the things I had left behind. He bridges the gap between what I was and what I was becoming. Somewhere along the lines, he fell for me. We started dating and at the end of our junior year, he proposed. I said yes."

He didn't turn back to her, instead he found himself wishing he could fly out the window. "Do you love him?"

She never got the chance to answer. The door flew open and her mother entered with Dorota. As they asked of her well being, Chuck slipped out the door.


End file.
